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The last time Chris Pine was naked and emerging from water on screen, the water was blue, glowing, and had magical healing powers. He was Steve Trevor, and the character was recuperating on the island of Themyscira in 2017’s Wonder Woman. At the time, the camera did a cheeky (pun intended) cut when he stood up, showing what he was seeing (Gal Gadot’s Diana) instead of what the gods intended us, the audience, to see and what Diana actually saw: his dripping wet penis.

In 2018, the gods Netflix has answered our prayers and given us Chris and his dripping wet penis. The gift appears in Outlaw King, a Netflix historical drama about the Scottish king Robert the Bruce’s guerilla war against the English in the 14th century. Out Friday, the film stars newcomer Florence Pugh as Robert’s wife Elizabeth de Burgh, includes sweeping shots of the Scottish landscape, a thick Scottish accent from our leading man, violent battle scenes that will make you miss Game of Thrones, and the star of the show, ~the penis.~

Outlaw King is just over two hours long, but it might be worth your time if just for a shot of Chris’ butt (another gift), his salt and pepper beard (hot!), and what I’d to call the Scottish loch experience—his much-talked about nude scene.

Netfix / David Eustace

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The experience, which arrives more than halfway through the film, lasts approximately 10 seconds (three if you’re only counting the close-up) as all of Robert the Bruce emerges from what appears to be a very cold Scottish lake. “It’s time to come out in the open,” he tells his crew, referring to their battle with the English army and not well, himself. Later in the scene, he drops another line that will surely make you grin as his conveniently long, crown jewels-covering shirt flirts with the wind: “I’m done with running and I’m sick of hiding.” Yes. Yes you are.

If you’ve been following the buzz around Outlaw King ever since it premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in September, you already know that Chris’ penis “dazzles” (Vulture) and that it was the “belle of the ball” (Vanity Fair) at TIFF.

Netfix / David Eustace

Chris has also provided some commentary, acknowledging the attention surrounding his nude scene in interviews with The Hollywood Reporter (“What I find very funny is there's so much beheading in this, and yet people want to talk about my penis”), the BBC (“It’s no Fassbender situation, I mean, I’d certainly match him”), and The Graham Norton Show (“different strokes for different folks”).

The general message from Chris is that his penis shouldn’t be a big deal in 2018. In fact, as he pointed out in a Daily Mirror interview this week, his nude scene is but a small (no pun intended—trust me) contribution to a Hollywood that’s long been plagued with a double standard when it comes to taking it all off. “Florence shows her entire body in this film and no one is talking about that,” he said, referring to a sex scene between Robert and Elizabeth that plays earlier in the film. “Is Florence expected to do that because she is a woman and I’m not expected to that because I’m a man?”

On that note, why did the camera even bother to offer a wide shot of Robert the Bruce’s penis at the loch? Why couldn’t he deliver the line about being “sick of hiding” while the audience continued to fawn over his post-loch look for a few more seconds? What is it about seeing a dripping wet penis belonging to an A-list actor that raises red flags for the powers that be? Have we learned nothing from 2015, when multiple Hollywood actresses and actors called for more male nudity in a little show called Game of Thrones?

I’ll let 2017 Chris Pine answer this (from an interview with this very magazine):

Hollywood big wigs take note: listen to Chris Pine. Ride this new wave of male nudity. One Hollywood Chris at a time.

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