A beginner's guide on how to use lube

Lube is not only fun to use and play with – so many textures, sensations, and flavours to try – but it's also important for safe sex. That's right, lube has many a magical power, from preventing unwanted friction during sex, easing penetration, reducing the risk of tearing and injury, and helping with all kinds of issues, from vaginismus to anorgasmia.

It can be also used for many types of sex, including penetrative, anal, and even when you're having some solo fun. Did we mention some kinds of lube can also be used with sex toys, too?

Despite this, lube, or "lubricant" is sometimes still seen as an afterthought or unnecessary, depending on what type of sex you're having. For some people, there's even a stigma around needing to use lube. But PSA, even WAPs can and will benefit from a 'lil extra lube.

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But before we get into it, let us address all of you out there who think that vaseline and all manner of other lotions and potions are suitable for greasing your engine. We hate to break it to you, but you're wrong.

So, if you're new to lube, looking for spicy hacks, aren't sure which is the best lube for you, or simply need a refresher in this department, we've got you. Here's everything you need to know about this goopy goodness – be it water-based, silicone-based, extra-thick, CBD-infused or flavoured...

What is lube?

Not to be confused with lubricants used by your local garage, the lubes we're obsessed with are the ones used for sexual pleasure and comfort. Taking it back to basics, lube is a liquid that is applied to the genitals or anus to make penetrative sex both comfier and more pleasurable.

You can use it to enhance natural lubrication – like the juices produced by the glands inside the vagina – or to create lubrication that doesn't occur naturally, like around the anus or rectum. Lubes add moisture or glide, making the sensations smoother, more natural, and for some, adding a little extra spark to your bedroom fun. Speaking of, you can get flavoured lubes for taste or sensation play. But more on that later.

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What is lube used for?

Not to sound obvious, but to increase lubrication! This is especially important when using toys or for any kind of penetrative sex (whether it's vaginal or anal). Plus, it helps to minimise discomfort.

Women and people with vaginas will find that their natural lubrication depends on hormonal levels, which vary within our cycle, pre-, during and post-menopause, and pregnancy. But, it can also occur as a result of stress, breastfeeding and some medicines (contraception or SSRIs for example).

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According to Science Direct, "vaginal dryness prevalence ranges from 13% to 31%." But as we mentioned, rates can significantly increase for post-menopausal women (50%), plus those treated for breast cancer (63%). Additionally, this natural dryness can also arise even if you're feeling particularly horny.

Regardless of your personal experience, there's zero shame in reaching for lube to help prepare you for sex. Anyway, it can help make things a whole lot safer and sexier - a combination we can definitely get on board with.

One lube everyone should have in their bedside drawer is a good old trusty water-based one. Something simple like Liquid Silk is usually a good bet as it comes with a super handy pump, isn't sticky, doesn't taste gross, sugary and fake like loads of other lubes, and is affordable. But you can find all sorts of water-based lubes in varying styles - the more you experiment, the more you learn what you like.

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When should you use lube?

Lubricant experts Soft Paris explain when and how to use lube, and how the sticky stuff can enhance all of your sexual experiences...

With condoms: Condoms are usually lubricated, but with intense and/or long-lasting sex, the lubrication will dry out. A dry condom also breaks very easily… so it's only as effective as the extra lube you'll add to it. Just make sure you use a water-based lube as an oil-based one could cause the condom to break.

With "female" condoms: you should also use lube with female condoms, also known as internal condoms. Unless the condom comes pre-lubricated, that is. It's also advisable to check the small print to see what type of lube is safe to use.

With dental dams: Dental dams are soft plastic latex or polyurethane square and are used to cover the female genital area or anus, during oral sex. Their main job is to prevent STIs being transmitted, which let's face it - no one wants to deal with. Using these with lube on the vulva/anus-touching side will make the experience much more pleasurable. Top tip: to avoid breakage, make sure to use a water-based lube.

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For anal sex and using anal toys: because the anus doesn't naturally lubricate, it's soooo important to use lube when engaging in anal pleasure. Even if you don't feel like you need it, not lubing up during anal sex can lead to anal fissure, which as per the NHS, is "a tear or open sore (ulcer) that develops in the lining of the large intestine, near the anus."

You likely won't feel it during your anal sex session, either, as symptoms tend to be noticed a few hours after intercourse. For anal sex, it's recommended to use a lube specifically made for the butt as they usually last longer and protect you even more. We love Sliquid's vegan, organic Sassy Anal Lube.

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How to use lube

Now for the fun part! Whichever type of lube you decide to use, it's best to dab it on your fingertips and apply to the desired areas - whether that's a vulva, vagina, anus, penis, sex toy, condom or any other part of the body. FYI, some lubes feel reallllly good on the nipples, too. And fun fact: some are specifically designed to double up as massage oil, meaning they're great for use all over the body for an extra hot slip'n'slide effect.

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In terms of how much is too much or too little, there's not really a rule book that dictates the amount of lube you should use. Rather, it depends on the person's natural level of lubrication, if you are using a condom or not, the kind of sexual activity you're engaging in (foreplay, massages, anal sex, vaginal sex) and the specific product you've chosen.

For beginners, start with a few drops (two to three) and see what happens: if you're satisfied, stop there, if not, keep on going. Because what's great about lube is that too much is generally better than not enough. So, if you're unsure, there's no harm in adding more.

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Apply the lube directly to your or your partner(s) vulva, anus, or penis, using your fingers to spread it around (but there's no need to rub it in like a moisturiser). Not only does this ensure you get good coverage, but it's also a total turn-on.

One thing to remember is that not all lubricants last forever. After a while your intimate areas will get dry again, so you'll need to add a little more juice as you go.

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Extra need-to-knows

Always use it with your sex toys, it will protect both you and them.

Make sure your lube is compatible with your toy. Silicone-based lubricants can damage the silicone of your toy, so opt for water-based to be safe.

Make sure your lube is compatible with the condom you're using. Just like vaseline and other oils (eg hazelnut oil), oil-based lubes are not compatible with condoms because they make them porous. This will reduce their safety and make them more likely to split. They also alter the pH and bacteria levels of your intimate parts, which can lead to infections.

Check if you're allergic to any component of your lube before using it. Just like you would before dying your hair, get a patch test. This is the easiest way to find out whether or not the lubricant agrees with you.

Lubricants are not contraceptives. Most of them don't contain spermicide, so they don't prevent pregnancies or STI transmission.

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