JiveDash

Finding the prostate is easier than you might think—no map required, bb. “The prostate is a small gland located at the base of the rectum and penis below the bladder,” says Donna Oriowo, PhD, LICSW, MEd, owner and lead therapist at AnnodRight. “Before you experiment with prostate massagers, it is important that you know where the prostate is and make sure that you have consent before you grab the massager to engage.”

Also, make sure you get lots of lube, as the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and you don’t want to hurt your partner, cause any tears, or make the experience anything but as pleasurable as possible. “Always read your ingredients list, and never put anything in any hole that isn’t safe to go in your mouth,” Francis suggests. “As a tip for your lube choice, think about what you might like to do in your butt play session. Silicone lube is long-lasting but can be hard to clean and can’t be used with silicone toys. Water-based lube is friendly for everyone, but you will need to reapply. Oil-based lubes give a lot of slip but, depending on the ingredients, can contain allergens and will absolutely stain your bedsheets.”

To find the prostate manually, you’ll want to feel for a “walnut” on the front side of their rectum. Then, using one or two fingers, fully extend your digits until you feel both sides of the prostate (the prostate has a left and right side, hence the walnut analogy). “If—after exploring stimulation of the sensitive opening from the outside—you’d like to try penetration, start small,” Francis says.

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